It’s been well over two years since I made any attempt at prayer or tried to “experience” God. And I don’t miss him one bit. I don’t feel any loss in my life. No hollow feeling inside. No sense of loss or loneliness. No fear and loathing. What does this mean?
I believe it can only mean one of three things. Either
- there is a God, but I never knew him;
- there is a God and I knew him, but now I don’t; or
- there is no God since I feel no different with or without him in my life.
If there is a God and I never knew him, then I don’t know what it takes to know him. At the age of 12, at a revival meeting, overwhelmed by emotion at a powerful altar call, I came forward, prayed with the evangelist, and accepted Jesus into my heart. For the next few years, I prayed regularly, read my Bible, and attended church and youth activities faithfully. I felt different. I was certain I felt God’s presence in my life. Later, I left the spiritual life behind for the most part but never stopped believing in God and continued to pray on occasion. I continued to feel that God was always “there.”